Many of us begin to find ourselves in relationships with people without knowing how they love or how they want to be loved. There are many ways to express your love for someone but if it’s not their love language you aren’t going to make them feel loved. There are 5 different ways people love and they are called Love Languages. If you want to, read with your partner to figure out their love language!
Words of affirmation:
This could simply just be telling your partner that you love them, or reassuring them about your love for them. Telling your girlfriend that she looks beautiful or that you love the smell of your boyfriend’s cologne are things that are considered words of affirmation.
Quality time: Sometimes just spending time with your partner can make them feel loved and valued. Even if you’re just running some errands and you ask them to join you can be considered quality time. Try spending time with your partner or just inviting them to be around you, if this is their love language they will feel loved.
Receiving gifts: For some people, this could be a no-brainer, because who doesn’t love gifts? Well, it’s actually much simpler than that. When dating someone who loves receiving gifts, don’t think of it as spoiling your partner but think of it as expressing your love in the form of tangible items. So if you’re on your way to see them, try picking up their favorite food or something that they might like.
Acts of service: Does your partner have a busy schedule? Try helping out around the house or assisting them in things that might make their day a little easier. People who prefer acts of service feel loved if you do things like this. If your partner is out running errands try taking out the trash or keeping the house clean, so they don’t have to worry about it when they get back home. Maybe even help them with their homework for a class to make things less stressful for them.
Physical Touch: Some people require feeling their partner skin to skin. This could mean that in order to express your love effectively to your partner you would have to possibly give them kisses, hugs or engaging in sexual acts. Physical touch isn’t just sexual either, it could even be putting your arm around them while you go shopping together or holding hands can make your partner feel loved!
Now that you understand what love languages are, try taking a test with your partner to determine your love languages. This test was created by Gary Chapman, a marriage counselor who wrote two books outlining what love languages are to make couples understand their partner’s needs better.