As an HBCU Alumnus that owns two media properties about HBCU Life, the time that we’re living in is amazing. Our historically black colleges and universities are getting the press and attention they deserve for helping in molding the change agents that are poised to run the world. However, there is a level of inauthenticity in a lot of this coverage. It feels as if many media companies are embracing HBCUs because it’s the “hot thing”. It’s what’s trending on Twitter; it’s what all the “kids” are talking about. Because of this, they get our culture wrong. They spit out inaccurate history, ask demeaning questions and flat our disrespect our institutions and organizations. 

The need for HBCU representation in newsrooms and conference rooms for corporate media organizations has always been apparent. Vice President Harris taking office has really exposed this need though. Take last Sunday as an example. New MSNBC co-host Johnathan Capehart did a tribute piece to our HBCU Educated VP that was perfectly fine. That is, until he started talking about her membership in Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated. I’ll let you listen in below for yourself. 

Mr. Capehart was immediately met with backlash from AKAs around the nation. Unlike many media members that would’ve been in his situation, he immediately tried to right his wrong. He was educated on why this wasn’t cool, especially as a black journalist and profusely apologized. He then went and booked Dr. Glenda Glover, International President of the Sorority & President of Tennessee State University, on his Sunday show for this morning. It was a great move and a great interview. We aren’t mad at Mr. Capehart. As a matter of fact, we applaud him. However, this incident deserves a closer look. Especially after he said this:

“I went to Carlton, a small Liberal Arts college in Minnesota. We don’t have Greek life on campus. So, what did I know? A bunch of nothing obviously!”

Therein lies the problem. How can you report on the culture but not be a part of it? Why didn’t he toss to Tiffany Cross, a Clark Atlanta graduate who could’ve have spoken to the moment more powerfully being an HBCU Educated woman? How about booking Dr. Glenda Glover to come on the program before the controversy? Even better, how about getting an HBCU student that is an AKA but also a Campus Queen or SGA President to do a piece on what this moment meant? We wouldn’t be here right now.

Since these corporations now want to embrace HBCUs, we have to teach them how to treat us. We have to sit at the table and demand what we want. We want HBCU mass communications majors to have a larger opportunities to intern and job shadow for these companies. Give young HBCU alums the opportunity to become producers. Create a HBCU-to-Media pipeline program for all HBCUs, not just Howard, so we can see representation from all regions and all institutions. This problem can be fixable. We just need to let them know how.

But, we must also support our independent outlets that tell our story. We can’t continue to operate on the premise that “white folks ice is always colder” in 2021. We can’t get happy every time the media pats an HBCU alum on the back or says our school’s name on TV or the radio. We gotta own our own stuff. That way, when Mr. Capehart and others like him want to tap in with HBCU Infulencers they know where to go. 

All love to Mr. Capehart but this is a teachable moment. HBCUs are not a trend or a new fad. We have and always will be a fabric of American culture. We must be respected as such and demand it. 

It’s the start of a new semester and, for some, a new beginning. Some students are starting their college journey this month, whether as a new or transfer from another institution. The college journey can be hard. Sometimes, we want to seek out guidance from those further ahead in their walk. Sometimes, it’s fruitful. They break down the game to you in an entirely different way and give you someone to aspire to. But, often, we get mentorship wrong. Some folks become “mentors” just to feel a sense of self-importance. Others are predatory, trying to come off as a guide then finesse their way into more. However, a large number of people don’t need to be mentors simply because they don’t deserve to be. Someone told me once, “How can you mentor someone and you never go to class?” Well, I’ll take it a step further. How can you mentor someone  and you can’t even lead yourself down the right path?

Mentorship should be sacred. It should be taken just as seriously as choosing to become romantically involved with someone. So, let’s talk about a couple of signs that clearly show you that your mentor is toxic. Let’s hit this one off top: you don’t ask someone if you could be their mentor. That’s the lamest thing I’ve ever heard in my life and I’ll argue about it. Asking someone to be your mentee is almost like a man getting proposed to by his girlfriend. It’s just not how things work. The burden to ask is on the mentee. They should build the level of trust in you to guide them along their road to success. They should trust your intellect and judgement enough to ask you if you could be their mentor. If you’re asking to be their mentor, clearly they don’t see that in you. Fall back, you’re embarrassing yourself! 

Another obvious sign someone isn’t fit to be a mentor is if they’re treating you like a drill sergeant. Mentorship is not a process. You should respect your mentee enough  to treat them like an equal, not as if you’re superior to them. I remember I was speaking to a freshman my last year as an Orientation Leader at my HBCU Fort Valley State University. We were talking about this exact same topic and she said, “Randall, how old are you?” I responded, “I’m 22.” She nodded and responded, “I have a brother that’s 26 years old and he doesn’t talk to me like some of these upperclassmen have been.” That was powerful to me. It’s all about respect. If the mentor doesn’t respect the mentee, that’s a toxic power dynamic. And, if you catch the right mentee wrong, they might knock some respect into you. 

All in all, shout out to everyone serving as mentors that are taking their mentees to higher heights. However, a lot of y’all don’t need to say the word mentor, let alone be one to someone. And that’s just my thoughts on today.

At the start of every New Year we always like to talk about goals. But, let’s be honest. All we do is sink back into our old ways after a couple days of improvement. Change is hard, especially so suddenly but we know it’s possible. I think we need to add one more thing to our New Year’s Resolution list as we continue January. We have to stop normalizing bad communication. I was scrolling my timeline and I saw a meme that said “I don’t always have the time to call people back but, when I do, I don’t”. The image went viral. People rushed to laugh and talk about how relatable it is to their lives and how they handle the people that try to get in contact with them. Well, it’s not funny. It’s childish.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that everybody deserves to be responded back to. It’s your right not to respond back to whoever you want to. Sometimes, it’s people you just don’t want to hear from. You might not be in the right place or frame or mind to give energy to whoever is contacting you. I’ve been there. However, I’m talking about a specific type of non-communicating person that I always seem to run into. I’m talking about the people who will leave anybody on read with no remorse and won’t even try to follow up. I’m talking about the folks who swear their cool with you but are never there when you need them. I’m talking about the folks that have something that they want to get off of their chest but think going ghost on people will solve the issue.  

Whether it’s business, friendships or relationships we all know people like this. It’s some folks I hate trying to contact because I know they aren’t gonna respond back. It’s plenty of folks I want to work with but I’m hesitant on reaching out because I already know what the vibe is gonna be. Oh, and don’t get me started on the people that swore they were down for me but switched all the way up. Things were all good just a few days ago! Why did our communication go on ice? That’s still a question that needs answering. 

See, now I’ve started…. You’re telling me that you’re on IG 24/7 vlogging your whole entire life but you didn’t see me get at you? Your phone is blowing up that much? You’re that popping? How can you build strong relationships with people if you don’t communicate? That’s how you build memories and bonds. A lot of folks like to fake kick it though. They real cool in the comments but invisible on the text. 

We have to stop acting like this is ok. It’s not cute to be bad at communication. You’re stopping the bag for yourself. You’re grown. If you don’t want to talk to someone, use your words. If you have pressure with someone, let them know wassup. If you’re too busy to put another engagement in your already busy schedule just say that. But all in all, let’s do better with our communication.